A Man after God's own Heart

What must you do, or be to succede in life? How do you live to your fullest potential? Does it have anything to do with your dreams? Your bank account, how or where you live? etc, etc... I've been driving again, a time that inevitably for me is filled with deep thought, questions, and prayers. Often times I tend to forget that I'm actually heading somewhere, and that can get kinda interesting too, but that surely could be another post altogether.

My grandfathers name is Luther Lamont Skinner. If you have ever met him, he was likely either busily working around his old farmhouse or quietely sitting out of the way grinning behind those squinty gentle eyes. ;) But if I must pick one person that I would model to live my life like, without hesitation he would be it. He had dreams too, he wanted to be a pastor, and I know that he dreamed once of being a pilot. (He even made a pair of glider wings out of cardboard as a young teenager, and bravely ventured to jumped off the peak of his fathers barn roof. It had some kinks to be ironed out still. Lol) I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is so much more that he has never told me, or probably anyone, not usually being one to discuss such things. But before nineth grade he quite school to help his father out on the farm. He married my grandmother Dorothy Jean Larock I believe at 23, bought their first home, his old school house and rolled it down the road behind the tractor on logs for a couple miles, and up a rather steep hill and set it down on a basement he had laid. He spent most of the rest of his life farming, or working as a carpenter when ever he could find an odd job. Later in life after he lost the farm, he spent several miserable years working in a wire mill in town. I remember him coming home night after night with his shirts cut to shreds because of some mean spirited guy with tin snips he called a "friend." When I would ask, he would just laugh and joke about it and sew them back up again, I just though it was funny until I got old enough to really understand. My grandparents had 3 children, my mother and 2 uncles. I know it wasn't easy, but they were always provided for. When the bank took the farm (which God miraculasly worked out to give back a couple years later) they went out into the bean fields after the harvest and gleaned and canned enough green beans to live on through the winter. As bad as that might sound to us, now they all think of it as a wonderful memory. " The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down; For the Lord upholds him with His hand. I have been young, and now am old; Yet I have not seen the righteous forsaken, Nor his descendants begging bread. He is ever merciful, and lends; And his descendants are blessed." Psalm 37:23-26 I can't begin to say how very much this promise means to me!

Growing up, I spent every single day I possibly could with my grandpa. I would follow him around and observe how he fixed things up, or remodeled the house. A thing I am so very greatful for now, to have a good career passed on to me without ever a single thought about what I was doing, or paying a dime for it. I always had a plan for a new invention, and he would always leave his never ending list of things to fix, and join me in the cellar workshop to build seriously every and anything you can imagine, we even build an elaborate little "cotton gin" that you put milkweed fluff into, and it seperated the seeds from the fluff when you cranked the handle! Just so that I could try my hand at spinning it into yarn, and weaving on a homemade loom. The blanket never turned out as good as the "gin" did. Lol. And I know he knew that, but that never stopped him from being there to help me work through the technicalities of my contraption. He helped me build bows and arrows, crossbows, goat wagons, a pack saddle, knives, re-haft dozens of axe heads, motor bikes, a 2 person bicycle, wooden sleds, snowshoes, wooden boxes galore (each with a secret compartment), furniture and shelves, a real wooden lock to put on one of my cabins that only opened with a special wooden key!, when I was 9 he gave me a room of his barn to turn into a museum and helped me fill it up with farm antiques, he even dammed up his little stream to make me a pond to float my boat in that he made for me out of an old mortar pan and lots of tar. There wasn't any idea that my young mind could come up with, that he didn't straight way go to the farthest reaches of his ability to make into reality for me. He has always shown the greatest of selfless love and endless patience, always without complaint. I don't know how many times I dragged him into the woods to help me pick the perfect tree for my next project. His love and interest in my life has been such a perfect example of what Jesus is like to me.

It is nearly 1am, and I probably should finish up, so I will try to get my thoughts across now. I have recently heard grandpa in a rare moment of opening up, say that he feels like he was a failure and didn't take care of his family how he wanted to. But I am here to tell you that when I look at life, that I don't believe that our ideas of success or how things should be, are hardly ever in line with Gods. I really think that we sometimes need to step back and surrender our lives and plans to His will. As much as I struggle with this, our idea of what we should become, or accomplish, is usually quite a ways from the mark. Grandpa is not a pastor, but I believe with all of my heart that he has touched more lives for Christ in his gentle, oh so quiet way, than he ever would of in that position. A Godly man or woman glorifies God by every action, and I know every one who has spent any time with Grandpa, has seen the character of God without him ever having to preach a sermon, or utter a word. His testimony is in his life. Things will never be perfect on this earth, Thankfully!! It gives us so much more to look forward to in Heaven. Although I forget this principle daily ( as often as I do where I left my tape measure or pencil, ;) I have come to at least sometimes learn to rejoice in trials. God brings So many beautiful things out of this ugly life. I love the stories of David, and my greatest prayer and desire has been for so long, to have God mold me into a man after His own heart. I've felt for so long like that prayer wasn't heard until just a couple of days ago while reading, it hit me just how much trouble David went through! That is Gods method of character development, I knew it all along, but it just makes sense now. There were so many times that David felt like God was not listening to him, had abandoned him, and so many times in my own life when the loneliness becomes unbearable and I begin to wonder if He really is there for me. So, I know this is not as well written as I want it to be, and I hope it makes sense without too many trails running in every direction, but I just want to remind everyone to live your lives to glorify God right were you are. You probably won't feel like you are accomplishing anything of worth, but you are where you are for a good purpose, and all you have to do is build up your relationship with Him and the world won't be able to avoid seeing Jesus in you. And your life faithfully lived is you at your greatest potential, everything else we think we need in this world is temporary and worthless. I really gotta sleep now! lol